When being yourself becomes a problem

“Shyness is nice, and shyness can stop you from doing all the things in life you’d like to”, they sang The Smiths in their memorable 1987 ask.

One of the biggest difficulties of the spouses on the day of their wedding is that of being able to be photographed in moments of full expressive spontaneity that testify to the emotions they are experiencing. Why is it so difficult? Just for fear of not being able to.

The anxiety and fear of not being able to be themselves take over because feeling observed, framed, looked at is something that invades the sphere of confidentiality and modesty, which touches the most intimate part of the person. It is normal to feel a sense of shyness … an unease, an embarrassment, mixed with awe.

Added to this is the fear of not being up to it. In a world where appearing perfect seems to have the utmost importance, it is easy not to feel enough: not beautiful enough, not slim enough, muscular, tanned, smiling, fit. You are not satisfied with your image and you are ashamed. The fear of not being photogenic, or of being judged by others, recalls a constant ‘feeling imperfect’, unsuitable.

But that is not all.

There may be a deeper fear: that of being “laid bare” and being revealed as you really are. It is the fear of seeing oneself through the eyes of others and of finding perhaps the image that everyone has of themselves denied.

You become photogenic.

A beautiful portrait photograph is not an “objective” documentation of a person’s physicality, but must reveal his personal and unique beauty.
You become photogenic: what really matters is letting something of yourself shine through from an gaze, from an instinctive gesture. An emotion, a very small glimpse of the soul.
To do this, however, one must feel welcomed and immersed in an atmosphere of trust. This is why it is important to rely on the sensitivity of a photographer capable of understanding you, capable of looking at you and making you look with a different look, capable of grasping your most authentic beauty. Which is not the artificial perfection of advertisements or photos on magazine covers, but it is the truest part of us.

Being photographed with these criteria becomes a starting point to get to know each other and become aware of oneself and one’s potential.
The experience of wedding photography thus becomes a moment of exploration and analysis, an act of investigation, in which to lay bare oneself to discover a different reading of oneself. The final images will become traces of a unique moment: a day as protagonists, in which to learn to look different, overcome embarrassment, discover yourself better and, at the same time, true.

I’ll tell you a secret, it’s called empathy.

We opened this article with a quote and close it with a definition: “Empathy: in psychology, in general, the ability to understand another person’s mood and emotional situation, immediately, mainly without recourse to verbal communication “[Treccani].
Empathy is one of the most important elements of wedding photography and the basis of the Realwed method.

When I photograph, I put people and personal relationships first. I listen to them, I learn to know them, I share their story, their fears, their joy. I share with the spouses and their families a piece of the road, the one that leads to the yes day. And in this atmosphere of friendship, of harmony, the foundations of an empathic relationship, of trust, of mutual knowledge are created which allows the spouses to be relaxed and natural even in front of the camera lens and to rediscover themselves beautiful, happy, true .

Do you want to relive the emotions of your wedding through the exclusive Realwed method, you too?

CONTACT ME NOW

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I don’t know if it was the charm of the vintage, a little nostalgia, the desire to reuse an object to which many memories are tied or, much more trivially, the desire to put some order back in the attic. But after years, I put my old record player back into operation. I dusted it, connected it to the stereo system, replaced the stylus, and voila: gentlemen, here is “the” music. The one that excites you, that enters you, the warm and lively one, which smacks of concreteness because a speck of dust is enough to change the sound.

It is the music you listen to only after that pinch of effort and precision that requires a turntable: a vinyl to handle with care, the careful cleaning of all the elements, the stylus to be positioned carefully, the speed of the dish to be selected.
Nothing to do with digital music, with mp3s, with the universe of songs that we can listen to with a simple mobile phone, easily bringing with us a huge amount of music, to be heard anywhere, anytime and without effort. A technically perfect, but cold solution, unable to convey the same emotions and atmospheres as a vinyl.

The same is true of photographs. Technology today allows us to do unimaginable things until a few years ago. If a cell phone is enough to take beautiful photographs, let alone what a professional photographer can do, with years of study and experience behind him and cutting-edge equipment.

Yet experience, study, camera are not enough. Because technically perfect photos are not enough, sharp images are not enough, special effects added in post production are not enough. The bride and groom do not need an impeccable and cold album, which could be the same as that of a thousand other couples or the same as any photo shoot in a fashion magazine dedicated to the theme of the wedding.

The spouses need someone to tell their story. What was born from their first meeting, from their first kiss, from their quarrels, from their ability to make peace, from their first date, from their learning to love each other. The one in which families and friends have slowly entered. The unique and unrepeatable one, the one that will overcome every difficulty, the splendid and most beautiful of all the others, the one that led them to say “yes” forever.

This is what the photographer will have to know how to tell.

Not a glossy, perfect but cold photo album, but a true, unique, unrepeatable album that knows how to catapult into a universe of memories, beauty and emotions. A true album, which can only be born if the spouses have come into harmony with the photographer, they have begun to see in him not a simple supplier, but almost a friend, with whom to open up and talk to each other, with whom to bring out the best in themselves, with which to feel comfortable and tell emotions, anxieties, fears, dreams, memories.

This is the “RealWed” method: not only photographic technique, not only the use of cutting-edge professional equipment, not only precision. The story of your special day will be nourished by the empathy we have created, by the relationship that we have built since our first meeting and which has allowed us to get to know each other and get in tune. Because, much more than technique, people count, relationships count, the feeling and the desire to tune in and tell each other in an authentic way.

Only in this way will the photos of your wedding be unique, only in this way will they tell your love in a sincere and genuine way, only in this way will the album not only be technically perfect, but will have that flicker of life and authenticity, that unique load of emotions capable of awaken a thousand memories and make your heart beat.

Just like that vinyl record, in which everything, even a speck of dust, is precious and full of life.

Do you want to relive the emotions of your wedding with the exclusive Realwed method, you too?

CONTACT ME NOW

Tag Archive for: being at ease

When being yourself becomes a problem

Do you want to relive the emotions of your wedding through the exclusive Realwed method, you too?

DOP emotions

Do you want to relive the emotions of your wedding with the exclusive Realwed method, you too?