Tag Archive for: spontaneity

Get photographed? No fear, only splendor and spontaneity!

With his simplicity and sympathy he managed to break the shyness of both us and our guests. Who would have thought that we would have fun being photographed? (★★★★★ Jacopo e Ilaria)

For our wedding we were looking for a photographer who wasn’t “a burden”, who wasn’t “forced photos”, who wasn’t “the photographer is me and I tell you what you need to do”. Ours had to be real photos, spontaneous photos born by chance on the most beautiful day of our lives. With Mirko that day was like having an extra friend taking pictures of us. (★★★★★ Stefano e Fabiola)

The first challenge of the spouses: to be the center of attention

Try a speech in front of the mirror and speak in public. Hum in the shower or perform on a stage. Try on a dress in the dressing room or on the catwalk.

You know, knowing that someone is watching us, feeling the gaze of others pointed at us, being the center of attention, can deeply embarrass us. This is also the case when you are in front of a photographic lens, especially if this occurs on a day already so full of expectations, emotions, expectations such as the wedding day. That mix of tension, happiness, trepidation, combined with the fear of not looking good in photos, with the discomfort of feeling observed by relatives, friends, florist, hairdresser, photographer, beautician … can give a devastating result: fake photos, in which the effort to look-beautiful-and-smile-despite-the emotion is perceived more than the authenticity of a day as special as that of the wedding.

It happened to me many times: I met spouses so tense for the logistical details of the party, for the fear that something would go wrong, for the fear that the photos would go wrong, that, in the end, they were the only ones who did not enjoy the day.

The photographer’s gaze

Instead, the spouses are the protagonists: it is their special day, what they have desired, expected, prepared with care and must be able to live it happy, serene, calm, knowing that those around them are not inquiring looks, but are the eyes of people who love them and share their joy.

And the photographer’s eye is the first to have to look at them in this way: the photographer is a bit the director of the day, the one who will guide the times of the party, the one who will capture all the details and, of all those present, will be the one who will spend more time with the spouses, from the moment of the morning preparations to the evening dances and the cutting of the cake.

That’s why the photographer must be, first of all, an ally.

Empathy, understanding, spontaneity: the RealWed method

This is exactly what I do thanks to the RealWed method, the only one that starts not from the simple photographic technique, but which allows you to create a real empathy with my spouses. A relationship that is built from the first meetings, which is strengthened with the premarital service and that on the day of the wedding allows us to move in perfect harmony.

You and your fiancé will be sure of you, perfectly at ease, calm and serene, both with guests and with me. You will not have fears and embarrassments, but you will be able to express your joy and your emotion with naturalness and simplicity and your photo shoot will be not the simple chronology of the day, but an authentic story, full of life, sincere: it will talk about you and nobody other, because those photographs will have been able to grasp the unique characteristics of your love, your story, the details of the party, the unique aspects of your characters, your lives, your families, friends who share the joy of that day.

That’s why the photographic story created with the RealWed method, thanks to the simplicity and frankness of a relationship built over time between you and me, is truly unique and special: because each couple is different, inimitable and deserves to be told in its unrepeatable and beautiful being .

Do you also want to avoid the fear of being photographed on your wedding day?

Autumn wedding? The smart choice!

There are many symbols and legends for which orange blossoms are associated with marriage. Certainly they are the flowers that bloom in spring, a season which, together with summer, is the one that is most often chosen for weddings.

But are you really sure that they are the only seasons suitable for a wedding? Have you ever thought about autumn?

Many times the wedding in autumn is perceived as a second choice and I often gather the concern of future brides who wonder about the final result of an autumn photo. Will it be too dark? Dark? Sad?

The right season, a refined choice

And instead, the wedding in autumn can be an elegant, refined and full of surprises choice and can offer many advantages to the spouses, not least that of having truly magical photographs. I think of the wonderful colors of nature, I think of the suggestive atmospheres, of a milder climate, which will spare the spouses and guests the torrid heat of some summer days.

Light, the great protagonist

But let’s proceed in order. And let’s start with the great protagonist of any beautiful photograph: light. The common belief is that the summer light is better, because the sun is stronger, the days are longer and there is a greater probability that the weather is beautiful. 

The truth is that the sweet and golden light of autumn, the inclination of the sun’s rays, the reflection on the red, yellow and ocher leaves create a unique magic. On the other hand, the history of photography gives us confirmation: the most famous landscape photographers took some of their best photos in autumn and winter, because, incredible but true, the light of summer is not only not the most beautiful, but, on the contrary, it is the most difficult to manage and the most “dangerous”.

Because? The sun is high in the sky, the light is blinding, the rays, especially in the central hours of the day, descend perpendicular to the earth, creating sharp and sharp shadows, accentuating any imperfection of the face and preventing you from keeping your eyes open and relaxed. How many times in summer photos do we keep our eyes closed and squeezed?

Nature, climate, landscape: the party’s allies

And again: if it is true that in summer you are more sure of having good weather (even if the risk of thunderstorms, alas, there is always), even on a sunny day there is often haze due to humidity and high temperature. In autumn, however, the sky can be clear and clear as never before, the air clear and bright and the sunsets have strong, intense, striking colors.

And then, think of the landscapes: nature in summer lives its fullness, but, often, vegetation suffers from the heat and drought. In autumn, however, the trees dress in warm colors, yellow, red, orange transform the leaves and reflect the sunlight, giving it new vibrations. Think of the beauty of the vineyards, the coppery colors of the beech trees, the palette of colors that never cease to surprise us.

The days, then, are shorter and the sunset, with its unique light, will arrive sooner and this will allow the newlyweds to take splendid photos with the light of the twilight without having to leave their guests giving up part of the party.

A milder climate, a softer light, a landscape with warmer colors: everything will take place in a more relaxed atmosphere; the faces, in the photographs, will be more relaxed, without dark circles or squeezed eyes; nature will give us a scenography with warm, romantic, delicate and striking colors.

Therefore, live the autumn wedding: a refined, elegant choice, to be discovered!

Do you also want to take advantage of the magic of autumn in your wedding photographs?

If there were no anxiety …

A phone call like many, but different from all the others. “Love make yourself beautiful tonight … I’ll take you out to dinner!”. And so you prepare for an evening with your him. The make-up, the manicure, the curling iron, that slightly special perfume, a new dress, which you have carefully chosen and kept in the closet for some nice occasion. Shimmering earrings, a bracelet that clinks and … voila, he is waiting for you under the house (maybe already for a quarter of an hour), but finally you are ready.

And then, what was to be “just” a special evening, turns into a life-changing evening. Suddenly, during dinner, when you least expect it, he, with a sly and excited smile, pulls out a box, opens it and says “Love, will you marry me?”.

It is not clear to you whether it is all true or a film. If that slightly tense boy who is in front of you, and who also put on a suit and tie tonight, is the same guy you knew when you were still teenagers, the one who made your heart beat and your head spin, what every so much makes you angry and that he chooses the soccer game with friends instead of going out with you, the one who forgets birthdays and who instead, tonight, wore the dress of the prince charming.


And the answer can only be a “yes” full of enthusiasm, joy, gratitude.

From that “yes”, from that dinner, from that romantic evening, a beautiful, unique, overwhelming period begins: the preparation of the wedding.

Suddenly you will have to think about a thousand things: the flowers, the dress, the restaurant, the invitations, the table arrangement, the music, the shoes, the makeup, the hairdo, the witnesses, the favors . Maybe you already have many things in mind, like in a film you’ve seen and dreamed a thousand times.

In your head and in your hearts you start writing the script of that magnificent day and the more you get into the preparations, the more the emotion grows. But also the tension. Everything will be fine? Will you like my dress? Will the restaurant we have chosen be too far away? What if it rains? Did we invite everyone or did we forget someone? Should we add a course to the menu? And do I do well to get married? And what will I do when he goes to soccer?

The fears will concern the small details and the great choice you are about to make. You will perhaps be tense, anxious, frightened, sometimes you will not be able to sleep or concentrate on work, because you will be immersed in thoughts, dreams, expectations, checklists of things to do. You will live constantly suspended between the fear that that day will come too quickly and the impatience to say your yes.

But all of this is normal. This is what all the spouses and all the brides live. Preparing the wedding is a beautiful, difficult, rewarding thing.

But you are not alone. It’s not just you two who organize. You have your parents, your friends, many people who support you. And you can also have a special helper, whom you may not have thought of yet: the photographer!

Yes, you read that right … the photographer!

Of all the suppliers who will help you prepare for the wedding, he is truly the only one who will accompany you at any time of the day and will be with you from dawn until the end of the party. Everyone else will take care of only some aspect of the day. The photographer, on the other hand, will share every moment. He will see every detail, he will help you manage the times and enjoy every moment. The photographer not only has a long experience and has seen many weddings, but he will also know how to connect with you, to understand what you want and what you care about most. It will be he, with his goal, to immortalize every moment. He will have the task of telling the day, not in a simple chronology of events, but with the ability to bring out and narrate with images all the whirlwind of emotions that will overwhelm you, some particular nuance of your relationship, the details of the your character and those characteristics that make your couple unique.

What your wedding album will be, should not simply be a collection of perhaps beautiful, perhaps technically perfect photos. But you must be “you”, just you, with your story, your style, your way of being. They will have to be unique photos, which speak of you and tell your hearts. For this reason, it will be important to get in tune with the photographer, get to know him and meet him before the big day, to tell him about you, what you have in common, what makes you similar and what makes you different.

The photographer will have to become almost a friend, who knows you, with whom a glance is enough to understand each other, who knows how to bring out the best in you.

Do you want to relive the emotions of your wedding through the exclusive Realwed Method, you too?

When being yourself becomes a problem

“Shyness is nice, and shyness can stop you from doing all the things in life you’d like to”, they sang The Smiths in their memorable 1987 ask.

One of the biggest difficulties of the spouses on the day of their wedding is that of being able to be photographed in moments of full expressive spontaneity that testify to the emotions they are experiencing. Why is it so difficult? Just for fear of not being able to.

The anxiety and fear of not being able to be themselves take over because feeling observed, framed, looked at is something that invades the sphere of confidentiality and modesty, which touches the most intimate part of the person. It is normal to feel a sense of shyness … an unease, an embarrassment, mixed with awe.

Added to this is the fear of not being up to it. In a world where appearing perfect seems to have the utmost importance, it is easy not to feel enough: not beautiful enough, not slim enough, muscular, tanned, smiling, fit. You are not satisfied with your image and you are ashamed. The fear of not being photogenic, or of being judged by others, recalls a constant ‘feeling imperfect’, unsuitable.

But that is not all.

There may be a deeper fear: that of being “laid bare” and being revealed as you really are. It is the fear of seeing oneself through the eyes of others and of finding perhaps the image that everyone has of themselves denied.

You become photogenic.

A beautiful portrait photograph is not an “objective” documentation of a person’s physicality, but must reveal his personal and unique beauty.
You become photogenic: what really matters is letting something of yourself shine through from an gaze, from an instinctive gesture. An emotion, a very small glimpse of the soul.
To do this, however, one must feel welcomed and immersed in an atmosphere of trust. This is why it is important to rely on the sensitivity of a photographer capable of understanding you, capable of looking at you and making you look with a different look, capable of grasping your most authentic beauty. Which is not the artificial perfection of advertisements or photos on magazine covers, but it is the truest part of us.

Being photographed with these criteria becomes a starting point to get to know each other and become aware of oneself and one’s potential.
The experience of wedding photography thus becomes a moment of exploration and analysis, an act of investigation, in which to lay bare oneself to discover a different reading of oneself. The final images will become traces of a unique moment: a day as protagonists, in which to learn to look different, overcome embarrassment, discover yourself better and, at the same time, true.

I’ll tell you a secret, it’s called empathy.

We opened this article with a quote and close it with a definition: “Empathy: in psychology, in general, the ability to understand another person’s mood and emotional situation, immediately, mainly without recourse to verbal communication “[Treccani].
Empathy is one of the most important elements of wedding photography and the basis of the Realwed method.

When I photograph, I put people and personal relationships first. I listen to them, I learn to know them, I share their story, their fears, their joy. I share with the spouses and their families a piece of the road, the one that leads to the yes day. And in this atmosphere of friendship, of harmony, the foundations of an empathic relationship, of trust, of mutual knowledge are created which allows the spouses to be relaxed and natural even in front of the camera lens and to rediscover themselves beautiful, happy, true .

Do you want to relive the emotions of your wedding through the exclusive Realwed method, you too?

The RealWed method

Have you ever tried to take a selfie or have a picture taken reproducing exactly the same pose and the same smile as that beautiful model you had seen on the cover of the fashion magazine? She is gorgeous, enchanting, seductive in a natural, soft and harmonious pose.

You instead artificial and static as if you were blocked by the hit of the witch. And to say it is the exact same position. The background is similar, you arranged your hair, carefully made up, you also pulled back that bacon and chose your best side. But nothing. Your photography does not emanate the same naturalness and emotional spontaneity. What’s wrong? Why is the difference between the two photographs so obvious?

It is not that thread of bacon, nor that pimple that the corrector has not been able to completely cover. It is simply the fact that in that photograph you attempted to imitate someone else by leaving yourself aside.

The risk is that this may also happen on your wedding day.

You will wear clothes that are decidedly different from everyday ones, elegant, beautiful, demanding. You will have a hairdresser, barber, beautician at your complete disposal. Everything will revolve around you. You will be the protagonists, you will find yourself at the center of the stage, with an “audience” that will only look at you, you will have to follow the “protocol” of an intense and very long day.
And, the risk is that of finding yourself playing the part of the perfect spouses and, in fact, being imprisoned in the role, without being able to bring out anything of what you really are.

And so it could also be for your photographs because being in front of a photographer’s lens is very different from taking a selfie with friends.
You are the absolute protagonist of the shot. You could have in front of you a guy that you have seen yes and no once to agree on the estimate and who now falls into your room while you are getting dressed, flashes and various lights, and begins to give you a series of commands to perform carefully and precision because it is already getting late and the start of the ceremony is approaching: look here, look there, smile, approach the window, look at mom, look at dad, look at me.

And while you would like to have a moment to think, rearrange ideas and say to yourself “but I’m really getting married, what a joy”, the perfect stranger, as if nothing had happened, will continue to draw your attention to reality and the series of look there – look here – look at me – look up – look down which, at some point, will transform you into an automaton and make you lose sight of the essential things.

The photos may be technically perfect, but you won’t be in those photos. Those photos will not talk about you and above all they will not tell your emotions.

The Real Wed Method

One of the brides I photographed, reviewing the album, wrote to me: “Mirko, I hate profile photos, but I like yours in yours! So … it’s really your merit. “
With Ilaria and her husband Jacopo we have built a great harmony that made them completely at ease during the photo shoot. They opened up and let themselves be carried away by my way of working and so I was able to capture the spontaneity of their emotions and give shape to the story of their wedding with “special” photographs.

This is possible only by changing the approach to wedding photography by working on the human aspect, on the relationship, on the knowledge between photographer and spouses.

Through the Real Wed method it is possible to photograph the authentic emotions of marriage by totally eliminating that sense of embarrassment that makes the newlyweds feel awkward and nervous by returning a photographic story with spectacular spontaneous photographs.

Do you want to relive the emotions of your wedding through the exclusive RealWed method, you too?

Dummy effect

What will our wedding photo album look like? Will we be beautiful and spontaneous? Will I seem too low-fat-high-lean? Will we be able to cover the first fine lines that, alas, can already be seen? All the spouses I meet in the studio before their wedding have a thousand worries about the photo shoot. They know that their wedding photographs will be a very important testimony of the emotions experienced that day.

However, the photos do not always meet the expectations of those who are photographed: according to a recent study, 78% of couples who married between 2016 and 2018 are unhappy with the photos of their wedding. Even those who have relied on professionals have some disappointments and not because the photographer has not been able to mask and correct some flaws, but because the emotions photographed lack spontaneity. Often the spouses are not satisfied with the expressions that appear on their faces on the day of their wedding. They are expressions that, to the spouses themselves, appear unrealistic and unable to reflect and tell the mood of that day and the emotions experienced.

The truth is that on the wedding day the bride and groom are submerged by a great deal of emotions: joy because the big day has arrived, a pinch of fear for the big step they are about to take, happiness in having family and friends around, anxiety because everything has to be perfect. And in addition, the tiredness of the preparations and, perhaps, some sleepless nights. It is a whirlwind of emotions that is not easy to manage.

And since the face, the gaze, the body reflect what is in the soul, here are photographs with drawn and tired smiles, at times a little forced, expressions that are only feignedly serene, but behind which you can see a beating heart a thousand, a little breath, anxiety and happiness that constantly change and walk hand in hand.
It is not easy for the newlyweds to feel comfortable and too many times the photographer is not very helpful because he simply indicates which pose to put himself under, which light, which expression and everything ends there. The result is photographs without a soul, fake, which do not tell the emotions experienced by the spouses at that moment and which, over time, will not be able to arouse the memories and joys of the most beautiful day.

So how do you get fully spontaneous photographs that reflect the real emotional state of the couple when they are photographed on the wedding day?

Using the RealWed Method, which totally eliminates that sense of embarrassment that assails the little accustomed to posing in front of a photographic lens, bringing out true and spontaneous emotions.

The RealWed method allows you to create a real harmony with the spouses and their families, managing to bring out all the truth and concreteness of their feelings.
It is thanks to the empathy created with the spouses, through the use of the RealWed Method, that the story of the love story will be authentic and alive.

Do you want to avoid the Dummy Effect in your wedding photographs, you too?

DOP emotions

I don’t know if it was the charm of the vintage, a little nostalgia, the desire to reuse an object to which many memories are tied or, much more trivially, the desire to put some order back in the attic. But after years, I put my old record player back into operation. I dusted it, connected it to the stereo system, replaced the stylus, and voila: gentlemen, here is “the” music. The one that excites you, that enters you, the warm and lively one, which smacks of concreteness because a speck of dust is enough to change the sound.

It is the music you listen to only after that pinch of effort and precision that requires a turntable: a vinyl to handle with care, the careful cleaning of all the elements, the stylus to be positioned carefully, the speed of the dish to be selected.
Nothing to do with digital music, with mp3s, with the universe of songs that we can listen to with a simple mobile phone, easily bringing with us a huge amount of music, to be heard anywhere, anytime and without effort. A technically perfect, but cold solution, unable to convey the same emotions and atmospheres as a vinyl.

The same is true of photographs. Technology today allows us to do unimaginable things until a few years ago. If a cell phone is enough to take beautiful photographs, let alone what a professional photographer can do, with years of study and experience behind him and cutting-edge equipment.

Yet experience, study, camera are not enough. Because technically perfect photos are not enough, sharp images are not enough, special effects added in post production are not enough. The bride and groom do not need an impeccable and cold album, which could be the same as that of a thousand other couples or the same as any photo shoot in a fashion magazine dedicated to the theme of the wedding.

The spouses need someone to tell their story. What was born from their first meeting, from their first kiss, from their quarrels, from their ability to make peace, from their first date, from their learning to love each other. The one in which families and friends have slowly entered. The unique and unrepeatable one, the one that will overcome every difficulty, the splendid and most beautiful of all the others, the one that led them to say “yes” forever.

This is what the photographer will have to know how to tell.

Not a glossy, perfect but cold photo album, but a true, unique, unrepeatable album that knows how to catapult into a universe of memories, beauty and emotions. A true album, which can only be born if the spouses have come into harmony with the photographer, they have begun to see in him not a simple supplier, but almost a friend, with whom to open up and talk to each other, with whom to bring out the best in themselves, with which to feel comfortable and tell emotions, anxieties, fears, dreams, memories.

This is the “RealWed” method: not only photographic technique, not only the use of cutting-edge professional equipment, not only precision. The story of your special day will be nourished by the empathy we have created, by the relationship that we have built since our first meeting and which has allowed us to get to know each other and get in tune. Because, much more than technique, people count, relationships count, the feeling and the desire to tune in and tell each other in an authentic way.


Only in this way will the photos of your wedding be unique, only in this way will they tell your love in a sincere and genuine way, only in this way will the album not only be technically perfect, but will have that flicker of life and authenticity, that unique load of emotions capable of awaken a thousand memories and make your heart beat.

Just like that vinyl record, in which everything, even a speck of dust, is precious and full of life.

Do you want to relive the emotions of your wedding with the exclusive Realwed method, you too?

One goal: to be guided

Quando decidi di farti realizzare un servizio fotografico di matrimonio la condizione implicita è: accettare di lasciarsi guardare! Non semplicemente essere visti, ma osservati. Scrutati, studiati, analizzati.
Ma non è facile. C’è sempre una piccola grande barriera di timidezza, di pudore, di timore.
Il fotografo dietro l’obiettivo della sua macchina fotografica esamina, scruta, indaga, alla ricerca di qualcosa: un dettaglio, un piccolo particolare. Esplora.

The entire photographic session thus translates into a desire to contact the subject, waiting for the exact moment when the barriers fall.
This is the moment when the photographer, if equipped with the right attention and sensitivity and if he does not want to limit himself to any shot, knows he can see beyond appearances and photograph the very essence of the person in front of him.
Those who are photographed should accept to let themselves be looked at, forget to be in front of the lens, be spontaneous, relax and not think about the result, but enjoy the moment and have fun. But this is not an easy step. Moreover, entrusting one’s image to the hands of a stranger is no small feat.

How do you overcome shyness in front of the camera?

Trust is a central point of the relationship that is established with the photographer: it is not based only on his portfolio and his technical skills, but on that alchemy necessary to make him feel free to be able to rely on him without reservations.

That magic, is called empathy, from the Greek “εμπαθεία”: en- “inside” and -pátheia “suffering or feeling”.
It is the ability to establish deep contact with the subject, which allows one to tune in to him, “putting himself in his shoes”, seeing with his eyes, listening with his ears, feeling with his heart.
A bond mind with mind, soul with soul, which allows the photographer to know how to read emotions and immediately understand the mood of those who have in front of their lens, making them feel at ease.

The interaction between photographer and subject, during a wedding, is not only a reciprocal exchange in which the photographer gives his time and the subject his image: their two lives cross, enrich each other and find a sort of harmony by which gave rise to the photographic story.

The wedding reportage is a collaborative work in which there is understanding and understanding, participation and sharing, complicity and collaboration. A path, at the end of which there will be the story of that beautiful day and all the emotions that accompanied it.

It is this delicate balance that makes the difference between a well-made, but sterile and aseptic photograph, and an engaging story, which, thanks to the emotions lived together and the reading that the photographer has given it, gives new light and is able to reveal the the truest soul of the subject who let himself be looked at and photographed.

Do you want to avoid reliving the emotions of your wedding through the exclusive Realwed method, you too?